Today I’m unexpectedly sitting in my new living room. I had intended to move and was imagining it would be January or February. Then it all just happened, with ease. This has not been the usual way of things for me in the past. Recently I attended a unique workshop on goal setting and realized that often when I want something to happen, I think a bit about it and then get scared it might not be possible. What if I can’t MAKE that happen? It is as if I believe I am all powerful and in charge of if all things happen, or don’t.
I was taught to be responsible. In the last couple of years, I’ve realized maybe I’ve taken that a bit too far. The extreme of responsibility is to control, as in trying to control EVERYTHING.
It was exhausting and often disappointing. If things did not go as planned, grrrrr, I’d push harder or blame myself for not doing something. The key word here, DOING. I have lived as a DOER. I have made a lot of things happen. Some good things and some things that have had a wake of not so nice things as a result of my overdoing.
Now I am not going to the other extreme, just sitting on my couch hoping things will work out, though that is tempting after four days of moving. There is a balance, and I’m beginning to realize how that works. When I got clear about what I wanted, this time it was a smaller, more efficient home, it felt good and was exciting to imagine. Then, I let it go. I did not try to figure out every step or start pushing.
I decided what I could do was start cleaning out my closets and files and my overstuffed storage space. I could use my doing energy in a way that was going to be helpful no matter when I ended up moving. I could let the ideas for my new place bounce around playfully in my head and feel no pressure to push on that. I could make some progress with what was right in front of me. I could be patient to see what might unfold. Me patient?
Yes, I have learned patience. And trust, and being here to enjoy this moment, even when I am cleaning out my closets. I was most thankful last week as the holiday for what the practices of yoga and mindfulness, and breathing and life have taught me. No matter what, I have a choice, I can be here now, and dream and feel the need to do and be with all of it. So many hours on my yoga mat have shown me there are cycles of energy and rest. Some things to do and some things to trust to unfold. I’m learning to listen to my deep inner wisdom to know which is which.
Is there something you are dreaming about, but maybe holding back? Maybe it seems impractical, or impossible. What if you let your imagination go for a little bit and leaned into it? When you hold back on that dream, you also hold back on what just might be possible.
Yes, I know it is scary. What if it doesn’t happen and you get your hopes up? Yes, that is possible, but what if you never let that dream even get some air to grow and have a smidgeon of a possibility. The practice here is to open your fingers, let whatever belief about what is or is not possible go, for just a few minutes, and see what happens?
In the Metta meditation, the last line is, May I let life unfold with ease. This week what can you dream about? What can you stop doing? What can you surrender to trust and let unfold with ease?
Join Adriene for easy pose. It’s a great way to take a moment to just be.
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